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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?