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The current year represents a full decade since the term “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without a word seemed like the peak of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This means going for someone who helps you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do affordable romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes couples who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately shut down any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {